Like Tearing Wings Off An Angel
by Isabel'P
Summary: Isabella goes through a life of abuse and hard times but will one curly haired Cullen be able to make her feel like shes worth something? Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or its characters. AH.OOC.JxB.EDxA.EMxR.CxE
1. What Was Deemed My Home

Disclaimer! I do not own Twilight or any of the characters, thats all reserved for Stephenie Meyer .

This is a JasperxBella story and it's going to be my first actual story on ff!). So try to be nice? HeHe, any-who, this wont be one of those happy, fairytale stories. If anything in this story offends you or anything of that sort, I am truly sorry but I will not change any of it. This story will contain harsh realities, cursing, maybe lemons, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera! I do not wish to hurt anyone or bring up unpleasant thoughts from personal experience so please do heed my warning before reading my story. Thank you and enjoy.

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><p>I sat silently as always on the edge of the dock, engrossed into my favorite book, Wuthering Heights. My shoes lie beside me, the cool water nipping at the tips of my toes, I paid no attention to the world around me. I usually did not tread so lightly over the rules James had set for me, but I couldn't seem to care. That was of course until I heard the beat of wet feet padding down the dock. I instantly jumped up, yanking my shoes up with me, eyes wide. Had he found me in the only place I could get away?<p>

"Oh!" He jumped back, realizing he startled me... It wasn't him, I don't think I've ever been so grateful for a stranger in my life. I quickly mumbled an apology to the lanky, blonde haired boy before quickly stumbling away.

"Wait!" He called, but I ignored him, pushing my rigid body a bit faster. The sky was gloomy and left an eerie feel, I knew I would never make it back in time but I had to try... Surly he would understand, right? No, I knew hoping was pointless so I took off sprinting towards the place that was deemed my home by law. My body protested from the lack of movement from sitting on the dock but I had to hurry.

All too soon I was walking up the drive-way, glaring at James's car, I swear it was mocking me by just sitting there; taunting me as if it knew what was waiting for me inside since they beat me home.

_"I can't believe I'm glaring at a car!"_ I mumbled, dragging my feet to the door. The house was awkwardly quite. I wasn't greeted with shouting as I entered, nothing being thrown, no one lunging at me as I tried to stubble out of the way, never moving fast enough. I slowly walked around the corners, peering into the living room to find it empty.

_"Isabella."_ My body went ridged as he whispered in my ear. I couldn't move... couldn't breathe... couldn't think. His mucky breathe tainting the air around me and the smell of whisky consumed me. I knew I needed to distract him but I couldn't find my voice.

"Now... Where have you been?" He asked innocently, twirling one of my curls in one of his scummy hands. I couldn't hear any anger beneath his voice, there was something new to in and it frightened me more that I would have thought possible at that moment. Suddenly I missed the anger because I could handle it, I was used to it, but this, this was something entirely different and I feared for my life.

"Wh-wheres V-victoria? I d-didn't s-see her when I, when I came in..." I said as quickly and quietly as possible, stumbling over my words.

"Well..." Slowly he took my hand, leading me thru the hall, but he stopped short; next to the closet and nodded his head in its direction.

"Go on," He looked me dead in the eye, silently daring me to defy him. "open it." My heart was beating out of my chest thinking of every scenario that could have possible happened while I was in my own little world. Slowly I took the knob in my hand, turning it as slowly as possible. The second I peered thru the small crack in the door I regretted it, I could feel the sob building up in my throat. Tears were threatening to spill over as I glanced over the bruised and bloody body, just tossed limply over the dark carpet.

"Next time your late. It wont only be her." He said with a voice that could put Jigsaw to shame and walked off with a new spring in his step. The second he was out of site I threw open the door dragging Victoria to me, tears blurring my vision. The only thing that told me she was still alive was the shallow rise and fall of her chest.

"Vicky, _Oh my god,_" I held tightly onto her, as if I was trying to hold the life in her body, "I am _so_ sorry!" I felt her hand grasp my arm with whatever little strength she had left.

"Here, I need you to try to stand." I re-positioned her so it would be easier to support her weight and stood up as gently as I could, just as she has done for me countless times before. The quicker we moved the more she would whimper in pain as we hurriedly stumbled into my closet-sized room. I laid her down on my bed, as tenderly as I could, fearing she would shatter at my finger tips. As soon as she was safely on the bed I yanked the first-aid kit from it's hiding spot under my pitiful excuse for a nightstand. I instantly started aiding to every cut, gash, and scratch that was visible to my eyes.

"B-bella," My eyes shot up to her face, it was filled with nothing but concern... Concern for me, "It wasn't your fault..."

"Vic... How can you even say that?" My tears started up again.

"I tried to distract him, but he was persistent on going out and finding you... I tried to help..." Now she had tear streaming down her face, he voice hoarse.

"Just stay quite Vicky... " She gave me a slight nod, wincing as she did so. "Nothings broken. Just get some rest." Her eyes dashed to the door and back to me.

"No. You're not leaving this room." I completely refused to let her go back to the room they shared. She gave a pleading look.

"What if he gets angry with me for staying?" Her voice was barely audible.

"Then I'll take the blame, but now, you need to sleep." Her eyes were frantic but she didn't argue knowing she wouldn't even be able to get out the door without my help. Soon she was in a deep sleep as I stayed by her side, not daring to close my eyes in fear James would come after one of us.

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><p>This is all right now, just a pilot chapter, so it's not forever long or anything but I'll do my best to make the others longer. Oh, and sorry if you guys like Vicky being the bad guy but she had to be good for the story to progress the way I have it planned! Please tell me if I should continue, thanks bunches ;)<p>

Scritto con amore ,

XoXo, Isabel P.


	2. Blue Meets Brown

Alright, this story will be HEA, just so you know =). Special thanks to my first reviewer- KayJay112 (you guys should go check out her amazing story by the way)! So, Chapter two here we go, wish me luck!

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><p>She walks to school with the lunch she packed.<p>

Nobody knows what she's holdin' back.

Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday,

She hides the bruises with linen and lace.

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask.

It's hard to see the pain behind the mask.

Bearing the burden of a secret storm,

Sometimes she wishes she was never born.

Mcbride

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><p>I felt Vicky stir at my side, I was afraid to look at the damage that was cause by my own selfish act.<p>

"Belly... It's not your fault." I hate how she tries to make me feel better when it was just as bad as me doing it myself.

"It is my fault if you think about it, for gods sakes, it's my fault you were sucked into this hell hole in the first place!" She laughed humorlessly.

"I wont leave you Vic. Not until your safe." I said, my voice void of emotion, I still refused to look at her.

"Belly... Love... I am only your foster parent... You won't be here forever," I regretted taking a glance at her in that moment, a single tear sliding down my face at her sad smile. I still remember the day she took me in...

I was 14, just taken away from my home. My mother recently taken out of my life.

_There was a very slim, gorgeous woman with a tall, well built man by her side walking around, watching all the children playing and interacting. We were all told about them, they were foster parents and were coming to pick me up today. I could tell the man was only here for the fire-haired woman. _

_"So... Where is Isabella?" She asked, her kind eyes still wandering. I pulled slightly at the long sleeves of my thermal. pointed at me and I let my chocolate brown curls fall over my matching eyes. I saw three figures walking slowly in my direction, slowly but surely. I was getting more nervous by the second. The woman stood in front of me with a smile that could light up the room but cause any pain in my heart from the the familiarity of it._

_"You must be Isabella." She said with such a sweet tone it made my teeth ache and, impossibly, her smile grew._

_"Bella..." I muttered with such distaste she was slightly taken back. Then she shocked me by laughing loud and hard, yet it still seemed to sound elegant. _

_"Of course!"_

_"So you're Victoria..."_

_"Vicky," She gave me a wink and a small chuckle, "And this!" She pulled the man by his hand to stand in front of me, "Is James." She said his name with so much love it was evident that she would do anything for him, yet I still shrunk back , away from him._

_"I see." He gave me a light smile._

_"Are these your things?"_

_"Mhm."_

_"Well... What are we waiting for?" Her words were soft and the smile on her face was contagious, I could feel the ends of my lips twitch. Slowly I slung my back-pack over my shoulder and followed Victoria our of the orphanage earning a few glares from the other girls who wished they could leave, little did they know, they would have regretted it all after a while..._

"Vic... Its been two years, I don't think I'm going anywhere." I said returning her small smile and squeezing her hand lightly.

"There's always hope." I hated how she believed it too, that there could be hope for someone like me. It sickened me to my stomach that she could have so much hope and I just couldn't, I was jealous of how blinded she was by love, so blind she couldn't see the bruises that covered us both.

"How it end up like this? When it start going so bad?" I ask, tears rimming my eyes.

"I don't know Hunny... I don't know... Anyways, you should get to school."

"I am not leaving you until he leaves Victoria! So don't even try that shit with me." My eyebrows pulled together and I stared at her, trying to make her understand without too many words, her eyes slowly became accepting.

"Alright, alright. Now, what do you-"

"Victoria? Isabella? Come out, come out where every you are..." James sang, I could feel my heart hammering in my chest and I squeezed the life out of Vicky's hand right before bolting towards the door, leaving her speechless. Slowly I opened the door earning a long squeal of protest from the rusty bolts.

"Ahh, Isabella. What is my Victoria?" My eyes hardened at his words, he has no remorse, no shame, and it sickened me.

"Still asleep James. Are you hungry?" I asked, using everything I had to be civil, I had to , I couldn't do that to her again, I couldn't risk her life like that ever again. His smirk almost threw me off the edge, he knew I would do anything for her.

"No... That just alright, just remember my warning, will you?" He voice was smug as he slowly walked over to me, placing his repulsive lips against my forehead. He gave me a content smile and a quick wave of his hand as he walked out of the house, I didn't move from my spot until I heard him pull away in the civic. When I was sure he was gone I dashed back to my room. Vic's entire body shook from fear, not even for herself, but for me.

"Stop doing that Victoria." I said, once again void of emotion.

"You of all people should know I can't help but to worry about you. Now, time to get to school," As I tried to interrupt her she held up a shaky hand, "It's gambling day! If he wins everything will be fine... Just like the old days..." I gave her a small smile, she was back to the damn hope thing again. I place a small kiss on her cheek and walked out to the kitchen making her a quick breakfast and bring it back to her before heading out the door. When I had finally arrived at school it was passing period from first to second. I had heard there were new students coming here today, and thoughts were confirmed when I saw a silver volvo parked by the entrance . I quickly pulled into an empty parking space. I was fine with missing English; was an ass.

The day was flowing by quite quickly, no sign of the new kids, Cullens, I heard from all the gossip spreading already. Then soon enough lunch came around, my hell. As soon as I entered the room Lauren was sneering at me, stupid, blonde bimbo. I just let my head fall staring down at my converse tapping quietly as I made my way towards my table, stopping short when I realized it was being occupied. Occupied by the curly blonde haired, lanky boy who just so happened to be clutching my book in his hand.

I turned on my heals and left the way I came earning odd looks from some of the kids sitting at _my_ table.

"Huh? Oh, hey! Wait up!" It was blonie's voice, I could hear his feet patting on the floor as they came towards me, earning glares from Lauren and Jessica. This only made me walk faster, this **could not** be happening! Only seconds after I exited the cafeteria I felt a hand encircle my wrist and I had to stifle my scream.

"Hi..." Best response you could think of after chasing me out of the damn cafeteria blonie? I was glaring at him, carefully avoiding eye contact, until I felt his hand slightly tighten around my wrist, so I just stared at were his hand was with wide eyes, slowly he released me and took a small step back.

"Uh... Sorry..."

"Yeah, can I help you, or something?" I said running my fingers thru my hair and he lamely scratched the nape of his neck and thrusted my book out before him, making he jump in response. All I could do was stare at it like it would attack me if I moved a muscle.

"Awh... Come on, I don't bite." He said with a small wink. Slowly I reached out, took my book cautiously, and grasp the book tightly to my chest. I took this chance to really look at him, he had a tall and lean; slightly muscular body. I looked up, his hair was in soft, tiny ringlets, and his eyes- my god his eyes! They were the most precious shade of dark blue. Just then his eyes met mine... Blue meets brown, and couldn't seem to tear my eyes away.

"Soo... I'm Jasper?" He stated, making it sound more like a question than anything. I gave a slight nod, "And... You are?"

"I'm Bella..." I said letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. He gave me a small smile.

"Well then, hello Bella." With that, he walked away, he just fucking walked away, damn egotistical douche bag. Even though it pissed me off to no end that he would just walk away like that, his piercing blue eyes wouldn't seem to leave my mind. I slowly loosened my hands from around my book and sat against the wall, cracking open the weathered book to my favorite part and sucked myself into a whole other world, well... Until the bell rang and I jumped up and ran to biology.

I took my seat next to the window by myself, no one came near me anymore once they realized I was hopeless. I felt a pair of eyes burning into my side and when I looked up, of course, it was _Jasper._ Really now, really? He looked away from me to and no matter how hard I strained my ears, I couldn't hear what they were saying. Suddenly his eyes were back on me and was point at me, or should I say next to me... The only other empty seat... Dammit! Slowly he made his way next to me, failing at acting rather nonchalant, I easily noticed him simper, making his eyes slightly squint in protest.

"Hello Bella." He said as he sat down. I completely ignored him, still irritated that he just walking away.

"Beeeelllllaaaa" He whispered in a sing-song voice bring back bad memories. No! I wouldn't let my mind wander, not here, not now. My breathing hitched and I closed my eyes, trying to ward off any memories that haunted me like nightmares.

"Uh... Bella? Are you all right?" He whispered, "Sorry if I did something wrong... Seems to be all I've been able to do lately, but I really didn't mean any harm..." I could practically see his face, he should know that this isn't his fault. I'm the one who caused everything, right?

Right.

"It's nothing- I mean you did nothing. It's just..." I trailed off, not even knowing what I would have said. _'Sorry, my foster parent beats me and what you said reminded me of him and his sadistic mind.' _Ha! Yeah right, I snorted at my self and my seriously fucked up sense of humor.

"You don't have to tell me anything you know..." When I looked up to his eyes there was nothing but concern, that I didn't understand on bit. "If you want... Just say the word and I swear I'll leave you alone... But please do consider we don't even know each other yet, and I'm sure we'd be great friends." He gave me a wink and I was left totally dumb-struck. The worst part was, I wasn't even sure if I was more shocked at him actually wanting to talk to some one like me, or that fact I didn't want to tell him to leave me alone...

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><p>SHA BAM ! How was that ? ;)<p>

Yes, yes, I know they are not terribly long, and I personally hate small chapters but I'm working on it, ya know?

Thanks guys.

Scritto con amore ,

XoXo. Isabel P.


	3. Those eyes

Okie dokie , so I updated early in the last chapter because you guys are amazing! My update day is Thursday but every once in a while I'll give you guys a special treat of an early update! (PS. in the last chapter the song was concrete angel by martina mcbride, my computer fucked it up) So yeah, thats about it, thanks guys =).

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><p>Oh the years fly by for the ones who survive<p>

Till they look like grown ups, and nobody hears them

Nobody hears them cry

Please don't believe me when I say I'm ok

Look a little deeper for the words that I can't say

I'm too small to stand alone, I sure could use a friend

Help me learn to trust someone again

Don't leave me

Please don't believe me

Please Don't Believe - Sue Crawford

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><p>I had his words ringing around my head all day long.<p>

_"You don't have to tell me anything you know..." _His concerned eyes were burn into my memory at that very moment. _"Just say the word and I swear I'll leave you alone..." _I don't understand why hes being so nice, surly its just an act... Right?

Right.

He has no reason to be so wonderful towards me! I did nothing to deserve it, but I still couldn't help but feel that he wasn't lying; that somehow he managed to care. Then again; he knew nothing about me. he didn't know the memories, the bruises, the scars and most importantly all the damage I've caused... Yet I could find it in my self to tell him go away, no matter how selfish and selfcentered I was being. For god's sake! I could be putting him in danger, but I guess people don't lie when they say the past repeats its self...

I shook my head, attemping to clear it as I walked over to my car, watching my feet, as always. From under the shade of hair I could see a figure leaning against my truck and I could my self starting to panic. Slowly and as calmly as I could muster I moved my hair to look at what was waiting for me.

"Hi Bella." I breathed out a sigh of relief... Not James... I gave a slight nod to the blue eyed boy who seemed to be invading my mind.

"How are you doing?" He asked but I knew there was some sort of double meaning, I had to remind myself that he didn't know, chanting it, hoping I was right.

"I'm just fine." I gave him the same answer I give every one who is stupid enough to try and be my friend, but for some reason I could feel myself slightly hoping he wouldn't believe me, that he would see right though my 'I'm fine'.

"Alright... So, Have you thought about what I said?" I couldn't help but feel slightly disapointed, but I stopped myself as soon as I realized it. This is why hope is stupid! Its nieve and idiotic and leads to nothing but disapointment, hurt, and heartbreak.

I slowly and caustiously made my way to the drivers side, giving him a slight nod before hurridly climbing in and rapidly shoved the keys in the ignition. Out of he corner of my eye I could see him simper again.

"Bye, bye Bella." He took a couple steps away from my car, and I gave him a another nod before pulling out of the parking lot and speeding off towards _home._

I was distracted the entire ride home nearly taking the life of a disease ridden rat with I even realized where I was I had pulled into the drive way. I hopped out of my truck, walking up the two steps to the front door, taking a deep breathe and walked inside.

"Hey Vic?" I called out causiously.

"I'm in the room." Her voice was raspy and harsh. Slowly I peeked my head thru the door before walking in. I took that time to truly take in her apearence, she had a black eye and bruises covering the entire right side of her face. Her body was randomly covered with cuts along with black and blue blotches. I could feel my heart break for her een more.

"Come on over here Darlin'." I cautiously made my way over to my bed and took a seat in the spot i occupied last night. I took a look over at her empty tray.

"You ate..." I felt the corner of my lips turn up, but I knew it wasn't only for the fact she ate so much, but it was the fact that those blue eyes found their way back into my mind.

"Yeah, I was rather famished." She said with a real crappy british accent. Oddly, the corners of my lips turned up a bit more.

"Remind me to never let you watch Sherlock marathons ever again?" I said making her laugh.

"I can't help it! Its the most amazing seriese on TV lately!" She threw right back earning a chuckle in responce.

"For god's sake, are they even British?" The puzzled, hard thinking face she had on made me throw my head back laughing, I liked this, when James wasn't around, how easy it seemed to be.

"O-M-G! I don't even know!" Vic screamed like a crazy woman throwing us into another fit of laughter, yet every time we sobered up we would end up laughing again.

After a while Vic fell asleep, most likely being awake then entire time I was at school. I let my mind wander back to the strange blue eyed boy. He was so much like... no. No, no, no! I tried to get any thoughs about... _him_... out of my mind. Willing myself to think back to blonie, but slowly his deep blue eyes faded to hazel, his blonde locks turned into a messy brown fo-hawk, and i found myself supressing a sob.

_"What is that Isa?" His eyes were filled with inocent curiosity and worry. I glanced to where his eyes were glued, studdenly I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away either. Slowly his finger, unconciously, traced the black and blue, hand shaped bruise and I fliched back violently._

_"I-It's nothing!" My small voice sounded broken as I tugged at the hem of my dress sleeve._

_"...Isa?" His eyes shot to mind and he looked so sad, it broke my heart even more knowing what I had pulled him into._

_"Riles... Lets play pretend? You never saw it, alright?" I asked, we always played pretend, surly this could work._

_"I know what I saw Isa... I-I..." Tears started to rim his eyes._

_"Riley... Peas!" I said, trying to get him to cheer up, his smile always made everything better._

_"-And carrots?" He asked, using his tiny, little hands to violently wipe away his tears._

_"And carrots." Slowly I reached up, moving one of his hand from his face and held it tightly in mine._

We were so young, so innocent, but i pulled him into my world and when he was final fed up with the silence it slowly drove us both mad...

I couldn't think back to that now, and I knew I couldn't do this to Blue eyes. I knew I would have to end everything, end what exactly... I wasn't sure.

A soft, sweet know brought me violently out of my thoughts.

"Isabella? Vicky? Guess what I won?" His voice was gentel and calming, but I knew better.

"One moment James... I'll get Victoria up right now." I said, as calmly and sweetly as I could muster up.

"Thank you, Hun." With that, I heard the tapping of his feet as he retreated from the door. I gently shook Vic's shoulder and she stirred, slowly opening her eyes.

"He won?" Her voice was hopeful... Always hopeful...

"Yeah, Love... He won." I gave her a small smile knowing it would make her happy to think that I was happy.

"Really?" She sounded so happy, I gave her a small nod, "Well? Help me up!"

I slowly helped her sit up and get off the best, doing my best to avoid the bruises. Slowly I let her go to stand by herself and to get her some clothing. I helped her change out of her stiff clothing, cleaning up her cuts a bit better.

"Victoria? You almost done, Babe?" I slowly helped her to the door.

"Yeah, be out in a sec." She called back. I opened the door and causiously walked out of my room. James was instantly at my side taking Vic and carring her to the couch.

"Come sit down Isabella, I put on a movie!" I walked over and tentevly sat in the arm chair. Gentaly Victoria cuddled into James's side. It was n't like this often, this onky happened when James won something, or did something to make him emesily happy, but it never lasted. Victoria always had so much pride in him that one day he would stop. She was so blinded by love that she couldn't see the events that were constantly taking place.

The movie was playing but I didn't give it my slightest attention, the sounds faded, images blurred, but two sets of eyes stared at me... One set blue... One set hazel... _"Bye, bye Isa/Bella." _My two nicknames blurred over eachother. One voice child like and secure, the other raspy and wild. Both so comforting, so warm, so inviting...

I heard soft snoring, signaling to me that the movie was over, I hurridly stood up and snached an extra blanket from the pantry, gentely placing it over James and Victoria. I sprinted to my own room and darkness surrounded me as soon as my head hit the pillow.

I woke up at the sound of beeping, it hurt my ears from bein so close and my eyes squinted in protest from the oddly bright day.

"Wake up Hun," My eyes shot to Vic's voice and I calmed down imedently once I noticed it was only her, "Wouldn't want to be late now would we?"

I hurridly hopped out of bed and started getting ready the second she shut the door. Once I was done I went into the kitchen and made James's favorite, wishing it would make him happy, which in return would make Vic happy. If it weren't for her, this fuck-wad would have starved a long time ago. After setting up the table with their food I called them and then headed out the door. I unlocked my rust bucket and hopped in, speeding up to school.

When I arrived at school, I sat in my car for about five minutes befor buillding up the courag to get out. I ran to my first period, despretly trying to avoid Mr. Blue Eyes. As I walked into Mr. Masen's class room I was met by a set of eyes I wasn't expecting to see in the seat next to mine...

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><p>So! How was that? There wasn't to much of Jasper in this one and I'm sorry *tear* I miss him too... Any-who! You got a small look into Bella's past; YAY !<p>

So, I have realized... It's hard to write a long chapter... I will try to make the next one longer but you guys don't even know, I swear I though this one was longer than the others! Blehhhh.

It would be awesome if you guys reviewed, it helps a lot, and if you do I might give you a sneakpeek into next chapter ;D (If you want the sneak peek put a * in my little review box!)

Scritto con amore ,

Isabel P.


	4. Distance?

So, I got a PM asking 'What is your deal with eyes ?' and it'll be clear later in the story. OMFG- I SAW JACKSON RATHBONE IN CONCERT! I was in the 3rd/2nd row =D. Sorry, fan girl moment, but it was AMAZING. Any-who, I had written this chapter before, but, sadly, i forgot to save it, now I'm all depressed about that so, here we go... again -.-

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><p>Build them up,<br>So you'll never have to hurt too long  
>Put them up,<br>There's no real you left to be found  
>Hold it up,<br>No fear of hope or trust or love  
>Close it up,<br>Wait until it's time to finally close it down

Afraid This Time . Celldweller

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><p>"My names Alice!" It was Jasper's sister, the pixie looking girl, she was practically bouncing in her seat. She has soft brown eyes, and short hair down to her chin that suck out in every direction. I gave her a nod in acknowledgement, praying she wouldn't speak to me.<p>

"So... You're Bella?" I don't answer rhetorical questions. "I like you shirt?" She tried again although it sounded more like a question.

"Yeah..." I said back awkwardly, tugging on my green sleeves.

"So... I didn't see you yesterday." She stated. Damn it; why wont she wont just leave me be? I just ignored her sitting forward. I don't answer obvious things.

"Hmpf," Finally! She shut the fu- "You like my brother." I froze, my body went stiff and my breathing caught in my throat, "As a friend- I mean!" She added so fast I could barely understand. I tried to get control over my own body as she gave me worried looks.

"You should tell him to stay away from me." My voice was cold and stone, it was Tinkerbell's turn to freeze up. Slowly she composed her self and then looked _**pissed**_. She opened her mouth to, what I assumed, rant at me. Thankfully Mr. Mason interrupted.

"Hello _class_," He sneered, "I assume you all have started your essays on Romeo and Juliet!" Every one groaned.

"OH WAH! Hurry up and finish it!" He yelled, fixing glares at each individual student.

The class went by painfully slow, I could feel Tinkerbell's glare burning into the side of my head as she furiously scribbled down the rest of her essay.

"Well Bella, maybe you should realize it is possible for someone to care for you!" She whispered furiously as she shoved her notebooks into her bag and storming out of the room just as the bell rang, and I just sat there.

Slowly I got up and the day was passing in a blur, it was hard to focus when Tink's words were ringing in my ears and I saw images of Blue Eyes every time I blinked.

I closed my eyes for a moment to calm myself but I only thought of him; his blonde ringlets tousled around, his blue eyes staring back at me, sweetened by the amusement that danced around in them. The his smile- or- smirk, I would call it, one corner of his lips turning up and his soft lips looked so- **no. No, no, no. **No feelings, no hope, no hurt. Right?

Right.

I had one period left before lunch, which I, oh so luckily, had with Lauren. I could hear her heals tapping their was towards me as I took my seat. I felt her hand glide across my shoulder and I went stiff. She put her swollen, gunkie lips to my ear.

"Jasper- is- mine." This made me angry for reasons I didn't understand. "Its quite amusing how you think you have a chance with him, theres no way the Cullens would every accept you." And I believed her, with every fiber of my being I knew I didn't belong with them, I didn't need someone rubbing it in. No. No feelings, no hope, no hurt...

"Jasper will never want someone as plain as you." My heart clenched as I tried to ignore her, staring straight ahead.

"You're no good for him." Her statement was cold, hard, and solid- no room for arguments, but the worst part? The worst part was I knew it was true- all of it.

_"Well Bella, maybe you should realize it is possible for someone to care for you!" _My frown just grew, and my brows pressed together. All to soon, being lost in my own thoughts, lunch came around as I quickly made my way outside.

I jumped straight out of my skin when I felt a hand encircle my wrist and lead me toward the forest, my throat constricted once again and I couldn't breathe. We came to a stop once we were right by the first line of scattered trees.

"Uh... Bella?" I felt like I was gonna die from joy the second I hear Blue Eye's voice, my heart beat calmed down immensely and I could finally breathe again. My body stayed rigid and my fists stayed clenched, still waiting for the worst.

"Oh god Bella- I- I'm sorry! I didn't know you would freak out!" His voice was hoarse and laced with worry, I opened one eye to peak at him, still waiting for the impact.

"Hey..." His voice was still hoarse, yet oddly soft, like a singer, one who would sing songs you could get lost into and never have to come back to reality. "I'm really sorry..."

Slowly I let my body become slightly at ease. "Are you alright?" I nodded.

"Listen, I was trying to get away from- uh- Lauren? Yeah... And I saw you out here and I figured we would hang out?" He made it sound like a question, silly boy.

"Right." I said back, and I wanted to feel joy, but I couldn't... Why? I have no clue...

"Any ways... Alice said you had to tell me something?" I froze.

"Did she now?" I responded automatically, the tensed up even more, he made my guard fall, because if it were james, I would be as good as dead.

He chuckles and my muscles instantly tightened. "Yes ma'am." My heart sank at his slight accent, I wish he would use it more often. I could now tell he had been covering it up.

"Well..." I said, pacing a little, "Tink must have been mistaken." He raised a brow and smirked at me. My stomach seemed to twist when he smirked.

"Well then, shouldn't pay much attention to the pixie, eh?" He smirked again- I think he knew when it did to me.

Slowly he sat down on the grass of the forest floor, crossing his legs beneath him, and leaned back on his hands. Slowly, but surly, I copied his actions, slightly afraid of the consequences. I tried to remind my self that I could get comfortable but I couldn't seem to keep my mind on track.

He smiled, trying to act nonchalant.

"Sooo... Where in your mind did you find it a good idea to drag some random girl into the forest without a warning, cowboy?"He cocked his head to the side.

"Well! I was just trying to help a damsel in distress." He said with a wink, "That is what cowboys do, right ma'am." He said letting out his accent a bit, I bit my lip and looked away slyly. He just chuckled at me.

"_Oh Jasper!_" Lauren. Then I remembered what she had told me _"You're no good for him." _In that instant I was shot back to reality, I jumped up and took off towards the school, easily dodging Lauren and Jessica as they lamely wandered around look for my cowboy.

_No. Not mine..._

I walked back into the school, heading for the cafeteria, but Tink and some guy blocked my way. My sadistic, evil mind figured that nothing good could come from his but I kept strong; no one could hurt me with other eyes and ears around. Right?

"I'm Edward." His voice was velvety and his sent was too sweet, like too much honey in your tea. His copper colored hair was disarray and his voice bugged me a bit, I missed Jasper's voi- no_. No feelings, no hope- no hurt. _I chanted desperately in my head before meeting Penny Head's eyes. Giant green orbs burning into mine.

"Have you talked to Jasper?" Tink asked, looking slightly worried.

"No thanks to you," I murmured, trying to walk past them, "Might want to help him- the bimbos are on the hunt." They gave me a weird look before glance out the hallway windows to see Lauren and Jessica searching for Blue Eyes. When they turned to look back me, I was already gone.

I waited for the bell to ring then bolted to biology, realizing a little to late that I had this class with no other than the one and only Blue Eyes. Slowly I took my seat next to him, being cautious, afraid of what he do because I ran off like that...

"Bella..." He sounded like he had been holding his breathe up until that moment. I refused to acknowledge him.

"Bellaaaa?" He said drawing out my name.

"Bellerinaaaaahhhhhhhhh!" He whispered quite loudly, the ends of my lips twitched the slightest bit.

"You know you wannnaaa smiiiileeeee!" He said, drawing out some more words. I glanced at him from the corner of my to see him wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Come on Bella, we were just laughing and talking in a freaky ass forest- but you can't even spare me a glance in public?" He gave me a pleading look and I broke.

"I- I just... I just can't..." I looked down; I didn't want to see his face- I feared knowing the emotion that it might hold.

"Why do I feel like, with you, its one step forward two steps back?" But he wasn't asking me; he was more asking himself.

"I'm sorry..." I said quietly.

"Just tell me you want me to leave you alone an-and I will..." I took that chance to look at his face, his eyes were filled with so much pain and sorrow. Yet I couldn't find myself to say it, so I opted for saying quiet.

"Bella I d-" He was cut off mid-sentence by the teacher talking some crap about cells and I was grateful.

After half an hour in class, non stop glances from a pair of sad blue eyes, I felt a piece of paper being pushed against my hand.

_Beeellleerrriiinnnnaaa. _

I just glared at the piece of paper until he took it back and scribbled something else down.

_Now, now, the paper didn't do anything to you._

I just looked away and glared at the board behind Mr. Banner until I felt the paper against my hand again.

_Come on Bella, the white board seems very nice. I don't think it should be getting glared at now do you?_

I moved my eyes to the floor in front of our desk, glaring at it with an enormous amount of anger, feeling the paper being shoved against my hand once more.

_Now the floor is understandable, I have seen it trip you more than a gillian times ;)._

This time I fixed my glare at him and he raised his hands in defeat, smirking his usual cocky smirk.

"Now, now Bellerina. I'm just stating facts." He said, his smirk growing.

"_Now, now Bellerina. I'm just stating facts._" I said, trying to mimic his voice, just making his laugh hysterically, earning us both weird looks from everyone.

He smirked, "Now Bellerina, I think we should talk."

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><p>BLAM. How was that? You guys should review ;D .<p>

It's really short, sorry, I know I said I was gonna make it longer but there was crap going on at school, so yeah- this all for now.

Scritto con amore ,

XoXo. Isabel P.


	5. Peachy Keen

So, in this chapter there is some vivid abuse, I will put that part between stars (*), and it is most likely that that is how I will end this chapter, so yeah! Enjoy.

She's been here so many times  
>Before she can't remember<br>When she last felt anything at all  
>But this fear and anger<br>She states intently at the door,  
>Listens for his footsteps<br>She knows exactly what's in store  
>And the knowing makes it worse<br>And when he crushed her  
>She can't feel; her screams are silent<br>Hides in the corner of her mind  
>Where she plays contentedly<br>She leaves this night more far behind

Sleep By Stabbing Westward

_He smirked, "Now Bellerina, I think we should talk."_

I froze, small tremors ran through me, yet I wasn't positive if Jasper knew how truly scared I was.

"Calm down Bellerina... Nothing bad, just a talk." Apparently the fucker did, and that pissed me off to no extent.

"You're turning red, try to control your own emotions." He said with a wink... Bastard.

"Talk about what?" I asked, acting innocent.

"Bella..." He warned, trying to be serious, "Care to explain why you're always 'one step forward, two steps back?"

"Nope." I answered, suddenly interested in my finger nails.

"Well then, until you send me away, I'll be walking right besides you; backwards or not." He said in a 'matter-of-factly' way, crossing his arms like a stubborn child.

"Very mature." I replied, fixing a glare on him.

"_Very mature._" He mimicked me.

"Really now Cowboy?" I said, getting annoyed.

"_Really now Cowboy?_"

"Jasper." I warned using his actual name for the first time.

"_Jasper._"

I huffed and crossed my arm in the same matter he did earning a smirk from him, God how I wanted to slap it off his face.

"Now Bellerina. Who's not mature?" He asked- smirk growing.

"You." I muttered below my breath. To say I was suprisasked; smirked when he started chuckling was an understatement, I didn't expect him to hear it and it made me jump. To bad it just made him laugh harder.

"Bella?" He asked sobering up.

"Hm?" I murmured.

"Alice talked to me about, well, you..." I stayed calm, maybe our conversation was just some sick trick to mess with the fucked up girl and he was finally going to leave me alone.

"Bella? I'm not going anywhere."

_"Isa?" He asked tapping my shoulder, slowly I looked over at my best friend, he wiped a tear from my eye and said, "I'm not going anywhere..." _

The bell snatched me back to reality and I felt a cool hand slowly wipe a tear from my eye before the hand, and its carrier, retreated out of biology.

I made my way numbly through the rest of school and all the way back _home_, trying to not think of anything Jasper or... Riley... related. Before I even knew were I was going I was pulling into _my_ parking lot and up the steps.

"Isabella..." slowly I turned to face a very angry looking James.

"Is everything alright, James?" I asked, glancing around for Victoria.

"Peachy keen, Jellybean..." He said, his voice growing disturbingly dark.

"Where's Victoria, James?" I asked in the same manner as the first.

"Visiting _friends_," He sneered the word, "at her book-club."

My breathing regulated and my heart beat went back to normal, "What's the matter, James?"

"Oh... Nothing really... Do you remember that _friend_ you had?" I froze.

"Rrrrr-andy?" My breathing stopped.

"Rrrrr-emy?" My heart rate sky-rocketed.

"Rrrrr-icky?" I became angry- livid- furious.

"Rrrrr-amsey?" I turned on my heals and came face to face with James.

"Rrrrr-il-" My fist collided with his jaw before I even realize what was happening. I was straddling him, pounding my fists into his face as hard as I could manage. I punched him for Victoria- for my hurt- for my anger- for _Riley. _He grabbed my hands as flipped us over, I couldn't see it from my blurred vision but I knew he had a wicked smile on his face; I knew this is what he had wanted. I knew what was coming...

"Hey now, temper, temper..." He whispered in my ear before throwing a blow to my stomach. I curled into his fist; coughing till my throat burned.

"I don't think-" He slapped me, "It was very nice-" He pounded his fist into my side, "To hit me. Do you?" He asked, barley millimeters from my face, but I kept my jaw clenched- I will never- have never, given him the satisfaction of hearing me scream. He became angrier when I didn't speak and he threw his first in every direction skillfully keeping away from my face. I think I herd this braking, maybe smelt the smell of blood; even felt my self being tossed across a room, but I couldn't be sure as I slipped away into the safety of my own mind...

Okay, so there it is, I know this one is super short but I'm sick and yeah. So I have a question, would you rather I make longer chapters, or update, like, twice a week? Thanks to all who Read and especially to those who review! I love you all. Please R&R.

Scritto con amore ,  
>-Isabel P.<p> 


	6. I'll Always Be Your Brother

Okay guys, this one is gonna be short but I have decided to write longer chapters; but I promise this one will be a treat ;)

* * *

><p>If the sky that we look upon<br>Should tumble and fall  
>And the mountains should crumble to the sea<br>I won't cry, I won't cry, no I won't shed a tear  
>Just as long as you stand, stand by me<p>

Stand by Me, Ben E. King

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><p>As I looked at her face after I told her about my talk with Alice I could tell she thought I was going to leave her. Whether she knew it or not, it was clear she felt betrayed and hurt. I instant felt horrible, My stomach twisted and I knew I had to reassure her.<p>

"Bella? I'm not going anywhere..." I silently promised, but I knew I would get no reply. She was long gone by now, the look in her eyes told me so and I saw a tear slowly tumble down her eye. On its own accord, my hand raised and the tips of my fingers slowly wiped away the tear. I gathered my belongings and left, I had a nagging feeling that if I stayed it would only hurt her more. I trudged myself to English. It all went by in a blur and the teacher never dared to tell me to pick up my head. I knew my mood was probably radiating around the room, like it does at home if I don't keep myself in check.

After the bell I dragged my feet all the way to my harley and, like every other day, I watched as Bella sprinted out of the school, in a hurry every day. Her mahogany colored hair swaying behind her and the sun giving it natural burgundy streaks. As soon as she was safely I her truck and driving away I mounted my bike.

"JASPER!" I could slightly make out Alice's voice as I revved up the engine. She came running over, hand in hand with Edward.

"What Alice?" I asked slightly annoyed.

"You're 'radiating' Jazz." Her eyes narrowed, as did mine. I hated it when she said that as if I had some _super power_. When my emotions become strong enough, everyone seems to catch my mood. Alice found it amazing while Edward found it immensely fascinating, just like his father.

"God Alice! Just get to the point." I said, exasperated.

"Hey Grump. Just cause you wanna be all alone and morn over Bella not wanting to be near you doesn't mean you have to take it out on Alice!" Edward said, slightly stepping in front of Alice. I glared at him and hear Alice slightly gasp 'Edward!'. I revved up the engine one more time and sped off as fast as I possibly could without crashing into other students.

I was home in half the time it usually takes when I sped and I came to a screeching halt. Esme obviously heard the noise and hurried outside.

"Jasper! Were is you helmet?" She scorned.

"Flew off the bike about half way back to school." I said as if was nothing; well to me it was, but I couldn't help but feel back as I looked into Esme's eyes. She was so worried and hurt, always so concerned since the accident, it took me an entire two years to persuade her to let me ride again.

"Sorry Es-mom, I just... Forgot?" I walked up and pulled my _'mother'_ into a thug and she kept a tight embrace on me as she buried her head into my chest. Slowly she started to retreat to look up as my 6'3 tall self.

"Just be more careful, okay Honey?" She asked, "We'll get you a new helmet tonight." I smiled down at her 5'6 figure and kissed the top of her head.

"'Course Es-mom," She giggled at my name for her since I was just a kid, "Lets get inside; it's getting cold." Slowly we walked up the steps of our giant glass house.

"Hello Son." Carlisle said when we walked in side.

"Hello Pops." I said jokingly, doing my best to lighten the mood and, like usual, it worked. Esme left my side to kiss her husband then retreat to the kitchen.

"How was school Son?" He asked giving my a weird look that kinda creeped me out.

"Other than the end, just fine." I said, wishing he wouldn't ask.

"What happened at the end?" He asked, raising a brow.

"Nothing really." I replied, not wanting to get golden boy in trouble for being a douche. I heard the Volvo pull up and every one walking into the house.

"Jazzy!" Alice said, running up.

"Don't call me that." I growled, I only allowed one person called me that. Retreating up the stairs, I heard her following, accompanied by Edward, I flipped around, trying to push all my anger toward them.

"Don't." I said, making eye contact with Edward who quickly cowered back, knowing who would win this fight but Alice stood strong as every one watched. Too interested to stop anything.

"Jasper! He didn't mean it!" She scorned; sounding a lot like Esme.

"Bullshit," I said taking a step forward, my anger taking over, I knew I would never lay a hand on a lady, my really mother back in Texas taught me some manners, "Lets not forget my _'super power'_ as you so bluntly put it! He meant every word he said." Fuckward then decided to grow a pair and take a step forward, pushing my limits. I clenched my fist, ready to punch him if he spoke another word of My Bella.

"Jazz... You need to calm down." I could faintly hear my twin call at me, but when I realized it was he I bottled up all my anger and turned around, heading to my room, once again hearing Fuckward's footsteps following after me.

"Edward! Leave him alone!" I heard Rosie say then the footsteps stopped and were replaced by other ones. I knew it was Rosie and that I didn't mind, I knew I needed my sister to talk some sense into me.

I left the door open to my room, knowing she would just sit outside if I closed it. I plopped down on my bed and heard my door close.

"Hey Bro." She muttered, lying down next to me and closing her eyes; waiting. We stayed like that for about twenty minutes just waiting for me to calm down completely and talk.

"Rosie..." I said; completely torn, and cuddled up to her side, lying my head on her stomach. She started running her hands through my hair and humming the tune to 'You Are My Sunshine' just like mother used to.

"Bella?" She asked after a coupe more minutes of humming. I just buried my face further into her belly; breathing in her sent, she smelled almost exactly like mother.

"Hmm... Wanna tell me what Edward said Darlin'?" She murmured, letting her Southern draw threw just a bit, making me said and think of simpler days.

"He was jus' sayin' shit bout how Bella doesn't wanna be near me." I sighed against her shirt. I could feel her stomach tighten a bit and I could feel her anger.

"Thats not true Jazzy. You know that."

"What if it is?" I asked, doubting myself.

"But it's not."

"Thats not what I asked Rosie." I said, wanting my answer.

"I know... But it's not anyways. The worst possible this you can do is doubt yourself, and you know that. It will be your downfall. Jazzy, don't ever question yourself. You've been different since you've met her and no matter how much I hate the thought of someone taking you from me. I know its for the best, there's a new light in your eyes, and when you speak about her... Gosh, you just radiate happiness." She said, giving he nearly the same exact speech I gave her about Emmett. My eyes filled with tears but I knew as long as I had my sister, I wouldn't need to shed them.

"I'll always be your brother." I said, telling her what she had told me, remembering our conversation like it was yesterday.

"I love you, Jazzy." She said, her voice sleepy as she drifted into sleep.

"I love you too, Rosie." I said back, my subconscious drifting to thoughts of Bella as my eyes closed and I was gone.

* * *

><p>A little brotherly- sisterly love =D. Sorry guys, I've been pretty busy but I hope you like this, it was just gonna be Bella again, but I swear my hands have a mind of their own and just HAD to write for Jasper :). Tell me what you this; R&amp;R please.<p>

Scritto con amore ,

-Isabel P.


	7. You Can't Miss What You Never Had

Okay, since my computerr crashed I had to rewrite this whole thing and the comuter I'm using doesn't have spell check & I cant go over it myself unless you want this update to be even later, so, sorry and I hope you like it(:

Also, I wanna give some shout outs;

-KayJay112  
>-Alli-bwahahaha<br>-Twilight-jemmett  
>-Toyally loko x10<br>-JaziD  
>-Summer-Rain-Goddess<br>-Caro09

* * *

><p>What is wrong with me, I cannot fight now<br>I feel like a weak link, Push it back inside  
>It feels bad to be alone<br>Crying by yourself, living in a broken home  
>How could I tell it so y'all could feel it<br>Depression strikes me hard like my old earth would tell it  
>To me, her son, she told me I'm the one<br>Pain bottled up about to blow like a gun  
>Stories that I tell are nonfiction<br>And you can't take it back casue it's already done  
>Broken home<p>

Papa Roach, Broken Home .

* * *

><p>There was a pain, and aching, stinging pain. It was everywere, drowning me, burning me, consuming me. My eye lids fluttered open but all I saw was black. I wasn't with my body anymore, and as I tried to get back I could feel more pain and could see more fog, though I much perfered the blackness and nothingness I kept reaching for my mind. There was another pain, a smash, a shout.<p>

"Come back Isabella..." A faceless voice called, "Its no fun without you..." He whispered. More pain, then, for a minute, I felt light and free; as if I was floating, then a crash, and more pain. I could feel my body again, the pain, each bruise, each cut, each trickle of blood.

"Fine!" He yelled at the top of his lungs; his voice rough and grimy. I could feel my fingertips brushing at the edge of conciousness; trying to regain my own body. There was a stinging pain in my cheek and I felt the vibrations of James's feet stomping away. My eyelids fluttered once again, but this time I wasn't trapped in the confounds of my mind, there wasn't much light but whatever was left of it blinded me momentarily. I tried to move but I almost yelped out in pain. Ever so carefully I streached my finger tips, my toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, so on and so forth. I limply made my way to the restroom, I scubbed every visable spot on my body, removed any shards of glass, and stitched every cut.

Slowly, but surely, I looked into the mirror. I had dark bags beneath my eyes and a bruise on my cheek. Its was faint but easily visable as it contrasted with the paleness of my skin. I sighed, heading out of the bathroom only to loose my footing and fall flat on my face and hiss out in pain. I peeled myself off the floor and made my way back to the living room to clean up the mess. After that was said and done I hurried to my room, falling down on my bed and letting the blackness invade my mind where peaceful dreams used to take place.

I was torn from the blackness by a tapping on my shoulder, I cowered away and covered my face in protection.

"Bella! It's just me..." Victoria pulled me into her arms, "It's just me..."

She rocked me back and forth as I gasped in pain. Slowly she pulled away from my shaking frame to look at me.

"Oh my..." Her fingers slowly traced over the hand shaped bruise on my cheek. She looked at me with guilt and pity and I yanked my self out of her arms.

"Bells... If i had know-" I cut her off.

"What Vicky? What could you have done? Just get us both hurt twice as much?" I asked her, annoyed, I knew she wanted to help, but we both knew there was no saving me.

"Bella! I do what I can and you know that!" She said back, shocked that I would be angry with her.

"I'm know Vic, but honestly; there's nothing you can do and we both know it." I said back, keeping my voice calm.

"Well what would you like me to do?" She shouted, "Just pretend everything is fine? Act like were the perfect little fucking family?" She shouted at me.

"It's not like you haven't done it before." I muttered coldly.

"Well then I'm sorry I fucking care Isabella!" She shouted again, but I kept calm.

"You care? Like you cared in the begging, when you let him beat me because it made him happy? Just so you could have your precious little James and pretend your life was perfect?" I said back, keeping my voice at monotone.

"God dammit Bella! I tried to stop it!" She yelled, tears gathering in her eyes.

"When? Hmm, after you realized it wasn't only me he was going after? God Victoria, you're no better than her." I said, my voice barely audible, I didn't want to compare her to my own mother, but I couldn't control my own words anymore.

Her eyes widened in shock, then her face was blank, "Well... No wonder she didn't want you; didn't love you, who could when you act like every one on this god damn planet is against you?" She screamed in my face. To say I was shocked would be an understatement. Slowly we both took in our own and each others words, my face stayed emotionless and her eyes widened in horror. Her hand clamped over mouth as she shook her head in shock.

I pushed past her and made my way to the rest room without another word. I grabbed my cover up and hid the bruise on my face, then the bags under my eyes. I went back to my room to see Victoria never moved, I gently took of my torn up and bloody shirt then replaced it with a long sleeved thermal, and made my way out of the house, grabbing my book, Weathering Heights. I made my way to thee old dock, school forgotten. As I made my way down to then end of the dock, I took a deep breathe of the salty lake water, I listened to the birds chirping and the light creeks of the wooden boards and my feet patted across them.

Slowly I took a seat at the edge of the dock, taking off my old worn out converse and my socks, lying them beside me and letting the tips of my toes skim across the top of the cold water. I opened my book to a random page and began to read.

I stayed like that for quite some time, I just reading, my feet swaying, and the tips of my toes gently skimming over to water. I always loved doing that, it always felt as if I was floating, walking on water even.

"Come on Isa! Hurry before the water gets to low!" Riley laughed as we ran to the dock hand in hand.

I laughed carefree, and i knew my eyes had a new shine to then. I glance over that Riley to see that his eyes showed just as much happiness as mine. As we made our way to the dock our pace slowed to a jog. We took a seat at the very end, the water rather high, just high enough to drown our toes. We took of our socks and shoes, lying them behind us letting our toes fall in the water, swaying our feet back and forth, making gentle waves in the salty lake water. He twinded his fingers with mine as we giggled and splashed the water around. I lied my head down on his shoulder and sighed contently. He was always there for me, to wipe away my tears, get rid of all my fears, and hold my hand through all of these years.

"ISABELLA!" I hear my mother yell and I jumped up imediantly, Riley quickly followed and stood slightly in front of me and the tears gathered in my eyes. Renee stomped over, pushing Riley out of her way and grabbing my wrist so hard that she cut off circulation, she got down at eye level with me and screamed in my face.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, you little brat?" I glanced at Riley slowly getting up off the floor, tears rolling down his face. Renee's boney hands gripped my upper arms tightly and shook my small frame hard.

"I fucking told you to come straight home you little bitch!" She screamed again, her hand connecting with my face, if she didn't still have a hold on me, I would have fallen in the water. I kept my mouth shut and so did Riley, we both knew if we uttered a single word, it would just make it worse. Her hands finally let go of my arms, bruises already taking their place. Her hand tangled in the hair at nape of my neck as she she stormed away from the dock. I looked at Riley's shaking from and Renee dragged me away. I felt the tears rolling down my eyes as I saw how broken he looked. His knees were shaking as he stared at me in horror, knowing there was nothing he could do.

Tears gathered in my eyes as I remembered that day. I looked at my watch and realized i was about time to go head back home. When I was about half way back rain stared to drizzle down and I huffed; annoyed. I hurried my footing trying to get home before I caught a cold. I though back to my fight with Victoria, and I imediantly felt horrible. I knew I had to apolagize so I started running. As soon as I stepped foot into the house I was swooped up into a pair of arms. I hugged the person back right away; knowing it was Vic.

"I'm so sorry!" We both said at the same time, then started laughing. I burried my head into the crook of her neck and beathed in her sent. Slowly we pulled back and chuckled, we both probably looked a mess but it didn't matter at that point. I sighed and we both made our way to my room.

"Are we cool?" She chucked.

"Like the other side of the pillow." I said giving her a wink.

"Good," She smiled, "I felt horrid after what I said."

"Same here, Vicky."

"So! How about we go watch song chick flick and pig out on candy like normal girls?" She laughed.

I groaned, "A chick flick? Really?"

"Horror?" She sugested.

"Now you're talkin'!" I chuckled, "I'll get the food, you get the movie?"

"Yeah." She agreed, we both jumped off my bed and made our way out to the living room. I started gather junk food as she called out movie names.

"The Human Centipeed?" She questioned.

"Ew!" We both laughed a little before she contiuned.

"Hm, The Grudge?" She asked

"Blehh."

"The Ring?"

"Nope." I said, Walking into the living room, arms full of calories.

"Gosh, so picky," She laughed, "The Ward?"

"Sure, I guess, I haven't seen that one."

"Okie doke." She said, putting the disc in the DVD player. She plopped down on the couch next to me "James won't me home till about three tomorrow morning." She said as she pressed play.

"Cool." I sat down next to her as opened a bag of chips, covering us with a blanket.

When the movie was over and we finished screaming like crazy we cleaned up hand headed back to our rooms to sleep for the night.

My eyes fluttered open when I heard a knock on my door. Slowly I pulled mysekf from my bed and walked over, opening it to see James.

"Isabella."

"Yes, James?"

"No school today, alright?" He muttered, trying to make it sound like he cared.

"May I ask why?"

"Your cheek." He murmured as walked out the front door for work. I waited until I herd his truck pull away before I went to wake up Vicky.

"Hey," I said, gently shaking her, "I'm heading out, James said no school today."

"Alright." She said, rolling over. I chuckled and wrote her a note just in case before I put on cover-up, grabbed my book and headed out. When I got there I took my seat, removed my converse and socks, lying them beside me, and letting my toes skim the water like every other time. I opened my book once again to a random page and quickly became engrossed into the book. did not know how logn I had sat there, just reading, but at some point i began to ready aloud.

"Why, she's a liar to the end! Where is she? Not THERE - not in heaven - not perished - where? Oh! you said you cared nothing for my sufferings! And I pray one prayer - I repeat it till my tongue stiffens-" I quoted Heathcliff only to be interuped, yet I didn't jump like I usualy would, nor did I run or scream, the voice that quoted my favorite book did make me panic, yet brought me peace all the same.

" Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest so long as I live on! I killed you. Haunt me, then! Haunt your murderer! I know that ghosts have wandered on the Earth. Be with me always. Take any form, drive me mad, only do not leave me in this dark alone where I cannot find you. I cannot live without my life! I cannot die without my soul." He finished my quote and I smiled. I heard his feet padding down thee dock towards me, yet I stayed planted where I was, and I read on.

"He dashed his head against the knotted trunk; and, lifting up his eyes, howled, not like a man, but like a savage beast being goaded to death with knives and spears." I felt him stading behind me, not being able to see someone would usually drive me mad, but I just kept on reading, "I observed several splashes of blood about the bark of the tree, and his hand and forehead were both stained; probably the scene I witnessed was a repetition of others acted during the night. It hardly moved my compassion - it appalled me: still, I felt reluctant to quit him so." He sat beside me, and once again I stayed where I was, and kept on reading, "But the moment he recollected himself enough to notice me watching, he thundered a command for me to go, and I obeyed. He was beyond my skill to quiet or console!" I finished the paragraph and looked up to see a pair of lapis lazuli eyes staring at me in wonder.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned.

"I could ask you the same thing." He said back.

"You could, but you wouldn't recieve an answer." I replied.

"Why is that." He asked.

"Because."

"You only say that because you have no reason." He said.

"Says you."

"Yet you don't deny it." I rolled my eyes.

"Will you answer?" I aksed.

"Will you?"

"No."

"I figured you would be here," He took the book from my hands, "Do you own another book?"

"Why does it matter?" I asked narrowing my eyes at him.

He just shrugged, "Do you like poetry?"

"Depends."

"On what?" He questioned, eyes still roaming threw the pages of my book.

I looked forward, towards the waters, "Stuff."

"Nice answer, could I have a real one." My brain screamed at me to leave, but my body acted as if the words were foreign.

"Do you like poetry?" I mimicked.

"Sometimes." He muttered, still skimming threw my book.

"When?" He chuckled, handing my book back and grabbing his book bag.

He shrugged again, "Who knows." He pulled out a book, opening it slowly.

"When do you plan of running off?" He questioned, looking for a specific page in his book.

"When I believe its nasisary." I said, slightly offended, he just chuckled.

"My Sorrow, when she's here with me,

Thinks these dark days of autumn rain

Are beutiful as days can be;

She loves the bare, the withered tree;

She walks the sodden pasture lane." He quoted Robert Frost and I smiled at his choice of poems, it was one of my favorites.

"Her pleasure will not let me stay.

She talks and I am fain to list:

She's glad the birds are gone away,

She's glad her simple worsted grey

Is silver now with clinging mist." He continued, he did not look at me once as he read but I knew he could tell I was smiling.

"The desolate, deserted trees,

The faded earth, the heavy sky,

The beauties she so truly sees,

She thinks I have no eye for these,

And vexes me for reason why." He looked at me now, his smile matching mine.

"Not yesterday I learned to know

The love of bare November days

Before the coming of the snow,

But it were vain to tell her so,

And they are better for her praise." I finished, he smiled.

"So you do like poetry."

"Frost is one of my favorites."

He placed the book in my hands, "I got it for you, I'm glad you like him. I thought I was going to look like a fool handing you this." He laughed.

"Oh no! I-I couldn't-" He cut me off.

"Please." He looked at me with pleading eyes.

"I can't repay you." I said sadly.

"You don't have to." He smiled, "Please Bellerina."

I sighed, "Fine, were did you get it?" I asked, thinking of what I could do to repay him for suck a lovely gift.

"My mother, it was one of her favorites." He said smiling.

"I can't take this." I said, pushing the book back to him.

"Please, I want you to have it." He pushed the book back and I sighed.

"Won't your mother mind?" I asked, he just smiled.

"No, she passed when I was a child. Esme adopted me and my sister shortly after." My eyes went wind and I went to protest.

"Bellerina." He said sternly, I stopped and cluchted to book to my chest.

"What was she like?" I asked.

"She was lovely, had that Southern charm," He chuckled, "I don't remember much though, I was just a kid when she passed away."

He looked sad and slightly ashamed that he couldn't remember her perfectly but then he smiled.

"Everyday she would make homemade cookies," He smiled, "She always smelt of honey and almonds..."

I smiled with him, wondering what it would be like to have a mother like that.

"What is your mother like?" He asked, staring at me, my smile dropped.

"Shes dead." I said grimly; purely from the memory of her, not the fact that she was now gone.

"Do you miss her?" He asked, I never put much thought to that question until now...

"You can't miss what you never had."

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><p>So there it is! hope you guys like it, ill make a deal, if i get more reviews ill make the chapters longer! R&amp;R<p>

Scritto con amore ,

-Isabel P


	8. Always

Okay every one, I am sooooooo sorry ; after I posted that last chapter I reread it and it was scary at how horribly wrong it was... but please do remember I had written it last minute. So to make up for it a bit I'm writing a small chapter and giving you an early update(: yaaaaaay!

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><p>And I will wait to find<br>If this will last forever  
>And I will wait to find<br>That it won't and it won't  
>Because it won't<br>And I will waste no time  
>Worried 'bout no rainy weather<br>And I will waste no time  
>Remaining in our lives together<p>

John Mayer, Clarity

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><p>JPov<p>

_"What is your mother like?" He asked, staring at me, my smile dropped.  
>"Shes dead." I said grimly; purely from the memory of her, not the fact that she was now gone.<br>"Do you miss her?" He asked, I never put much thought to that question until now...  
>"You can't miss what you never had."<em>

Her words repeated in my head and I wasn't sure if I completely understood.

"You... Never met her?" I asked, unsure, but the way she looked at me told me I was way off. There was an intensity that I was positive only my Bella had in her eyes. It had happiness, a happiness that I rarely get the honor of seeing, but it was hidden by a thick coat of pain, hurt, and anger.

She sighed, "I have." She stared down at the water and her eyes became foggy. It was like she wasn't here anymore, as if she was remembering something.

"Bellerina?" I asked quietly, I wasn't sure what would happen if I pulled her out of where ever she was but I was sure that I never wanted to see that pain hidden beneath the fog in her big brown eyes. "Bellerina?" I repeated.

Slowly here eyes became clear and she turned her head towards me, "Yeah Cowboy?" She uttered, smiling. I couldn't help but smile back.

"You're okay, right?" I asked slightly unsure.

"Yeah..." She looked at her watch and her eyes went wide, "I have to go!"

"I cant give you a ride?" I asked quickly before she ran away again.

"No!" She said hurriedly, "I mean... no, I like walking..."

"Could I walk you home then, please?" I asked; pleading. She looked torn between accepting and declining my offer, "Atleast half way?"

"Just half?" She asked tentatively.

"Just half." I confirmed smiling, reluctantly we both put on our socks and shoes; never wanting to leave the dock, "It's beautiful, huh?"

She smiled up at me as we stood, then stared off into the sparkling lake water, " Just wait until summer, when it's warm..." She said, her eyes gleaming at the thought.

"Ready?" I asked sadly, wanting to just stay here forever.

"Yeah..." She said back, just as sadly, and lead the way off the dock. I followed instantly, no matter how much I wanted to stay at the dock; I would always want to stay with Bella more, always Bella...

"What's your favorite color?" She asked quietly; interrupting my thoughts half way down the dock.

"Brown." I said back instantly, not having to think of the answer, "What about you?"

"Blue." She said just as fast, yet she seemed very shy about her answer. Slowly we made our way to the street and I subconsciously switched places with my Bella so I would be closer to the curb.

"Bellerina?" I asked tentatively.

"Hm." She hummed quietly.

"Why are you so distant; from every one I mean... Not just me?" I asked, watching her closely for her reaction.

"It's easier that way." She muttered, her face not giving anything away. There was never a time I couldn't tell what someone was feeling, but with my Bella... It was all so complicated...

"It would be easier without me?" I asked, slightly hurt. She looked over at me her face a calm mask. We both stopped walking, her slightly ahead of me.

"No... It would be easier for everyone else without me." She continued to walk but I stopped her by gently taking hold of her wrist.

"That's not true." She didn't look at me, just sighed.

"How would you know?" She asked harshly.

"Bellerina," I spun her around so she would look at me, but she wouldn't look me in the eye, "I may not know your past, what you're going through in the present, not even what will happen in your future..." I took her chin in between my thumb and index finger, making her look into my eyes, "But I do know That I want to be here with you through it all, whether you just want me there as a best friend or something more; it doesn't matter, I just want to be with you; always..." Tears gathered in her eyes and her hand came up to caress my cheek.

Slowly one tear glided down from one of her doe eyes, and I took my hand off her chin and wiped it away, along with some of the makeup that covered her face...

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><p>... I'm sorry I couldn't help it! I just had to have Jasper know; it was killing me... I should update on time (next Tuesday) but I'm not positive, just bare with me please. R&amp;R<p>

Scritto con amore ,  
>-Isabel P<p> 


	9. My Cowboy

Nothing much to say today, so… yeah… I hope you like it =D !

(OMFG I THOUGHT I UPDATED I AM SO SORRY. ALL THIS WAS FOR TUESDAY BUT I GUESS IT DIDN'T UPLAOD, SORRY AGAIN.)

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><p>"Alyssa lies to the classroom<br>Alyssa lies every day at school  
>Alyssa lies to the teachers<br>As she tries to cover every bruise"

My little girl laid her head down that night to go to sleep  
>As I stepped out the room I heard her say<br>A prayer so soft and sweet  
>"God bless my mom and my dad<br>And my new friend Alyssa  
>Oh I know she needs you bad."<p>

Jason Michael Carroll, Alyssa Lies

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><p><em>Slowly one tear glided down from one of her doe eyes, and I took my hand off her chin and wiped it away, along with some of the makeup that covered her face...<em>

B Pov

His eyes tore away from mine as she looked at were my tear had just been and he froze. His eyes went blank and his body rigid. I stare at him, rather confused.

"What?" I asked, self-conscious, but he didn't move. I brought my hand up to my cheek and winced from the pain of my bruise. Then I froze, thinking of an explanation.

"B-Bella?" I ran. I tuned out his calls to me and pushed myself faster.

"_Isa! You can run all you want, but I'm gonna win!" A seven year old Riley screamed as he tried to catch up with me but he was always slow, I laughed loud as I sped up and he huffed in annoyance._

"_Run, run as fast as you can catch me I'm the fastest in the land!" I laughed really loud, looking behind me for Riley, I slowly came to a stop when I could see him anymore._

"_Riles?" I shouted, "This isn't funny!" I started running to where I saw him last but only found his backpack. _

"_RILEY!" I cried as loud as I could, then I was tackled to the floor._

"_Tag!" He laughed loudly, I shoved him off me and got up, dusting the dirt off me._

"_Jerk."_

"_Sorry Isa, but it was pretty funny!" She laughed more, mimicking my actions, I huffed and crossed my arms; glaring at him. He chuckled and pulled me into a hug, kissing my cheek. I rolled my eyes and hugged him back. We sat down, cris cross and just laughed._

Slowly I came to a stop in front of my _house_, I looked behind me but, thankfully, didn't see Jasper. I hurried inside, glad to have stopped running.

"Hey Bells." I heard Vic mutter as she watched Sherlock.

"Sup Vic?" I asked, my voice shaky.

"What's wrong?" She asked sitting up and padding the spot next to her. Slowly I made my way over and sat down.

"Were you crying?" She said, shocked.

"It doesn't matter." I sighed, "Do-"

"You've been different… Happier, I guess; like you've finally found something to live for." She hurried and I frowned, no doubt in my mind that she was losing hers.

"What are you talking about Vic? I stay here for you." She sighed and shook her head at me.

"Alright then," She said, giving up, "We should start packing." I froze at her words.

"W-what?" I stuttered.

"James got a job offer down in California." I wasn't sure what to think. I would love to leave Forks, a new start and all, but what if people tried to get close? Could I ever let anyone get close to me? The voice in the back of mind was screaming that I couldn't, shouldn't chance it, but I already had, hadn't I? My thoughts made their way to one blue eyed boy. Could I leave him? Of course, I knew I could just get up and leave without a second thought. Did I want to? I wasn't sure if I had had an answer to that or if I just didn't want to answer.

"Why do look so… Torn?" She asked, studding my face hard. Could I possibly be selfish enough to want to stay here? To have any risk; any possibility that he could be put in danger? And when did I begin to care so much for him? Would I care as much If it where Mike? Jessica? Lauren? No, I knew that for sure, but would I ever wish my life upon them in any way? No… No I wouldn't.

"Bella?" I looked up at her and shrugged, "Maybe it's for the best?" She asked, best? Best for who though? For him? Most likely. For me? I wasn't so sure.

"But the best for who?" I whispered, getting up and walking away.

"I knew it." I stopped walking, still facing away from her while the tears weld up in my eyes.

"Knew what?" I choked out.

"Bella… We're not going anywhere." She chuckled. My mind was racing, I could stay! But… He knew now… I couldn't stay, I knew this, but could I let Vicky know this?

"Oh…" I wasn't sure what to do at this point… So I did the first thing that came to mind. I flew around and ran to my mommy. My arms flew around and I cried. She was rubbing soothing circles on my back and rocking me back and forth.

"Shhh… It's alright love. " Slowly I pulled back and roughly wiped my eyes, "Now…" She gave me a light smile, "Spill." In that moment she went from the Victoria who could get anything out of anyone to my mom then to my best friend, I knew there was a reason I stuck around.

"His name is Jasper…" She squealed and bounced up and down on the couch, making me roll my eyes.

"What does he look like?" Her eyes were so bright it nearly hurt to look at them.

"He has curly blonde hair and blue eyes…" A small smile graced my face.

"Ohhhh! Is he tall?" She shouted, looking like she was going to explode.

"Hes about six foot three." She squealed again, then she froze.

"Why were you crying when you came in?" Her eyes widened in concern. Should I answer this? No, I knew that I shouldn't, but did I want to? Yes, more than anything I wish I could tell Vic…

"Bells; you know you can tell me… I'm not Renee…" She whispered reassuringly.

"HE was so… nice…" I whispered, would he still be that nice now? Could he have possible meant what he said or will he think it's my fault… But it was, right?

Right.

So why did it hurt to think he would scorn and shun me? It's what I deserve…

"The things he would say… I cried… happy tears… And he saw when he… when he wiped them away…" I stuttered my mind replaying the whole seen.

"H-he saw? What did you do?" She shouted; she looked terrified and I felt horrid for telling her immediately.

"I-I ran…" I whisper, my voice barely audible.

"You know you have to talk to this Jasper boy, right?" She whispered just as quietly, slowly I nodded.

"What if he tries to tell?"

"Then we'll figure it out; go find him honey, James is in California till Friday." Slowly I nodded, I tried to remain calm but inside I was going crazy, could I face him again? Did I want to? Did he even want to see me? Quickly I snatched up my makeup pouch and ran back to the dock. Half way there I was already out of breath but I just pushed myself further.

Slowly and quietly I came to a stop at the beginning of a dock. I just stood there, staring at the back of my Cowboy's head, his blonde locks just covering the nape of his neck. His head tilted down into his hands and his shoulders hunched over. His body was shaking with what seemed like silent sobs.

On their own accord my feet started down the dock. My entire body longing to hold his in my arms. The rational part of my mind was screaming to stop that I was no good for him, that he deserved so much more. But the Jasper crazed, and more favored, part of my mind was leading me to him, not caring if I liked it, and most diffidently not giving two shits about my rational side.

I pushed my sore legs a bit faster and his head lifted from the sound of my converse padding against the wooden dock. He turned his head to see who was coming towards him, when he saw it was me his face held shock, confusion, worry, concern, and one odd emotion I couldn't make out. He jumped up from his place on the dock and sped towards me. When we were about one foot apart his arms encircled my waist and mine flew around his neck as he lifted me from the ground. Any thoughts about him hating me were gone for the moment, it was just me and My Cowboy. Gently he set me on my feet, his eyes made their way back to my cheek, now completely uncovered.

"Bella…" He breathed his fingers lightly skimming my cheek. I put my hand over his own that was rested on my face.

"I think we should talk…" His eyes boring into my own, we both made out way to the end of then dock; my hand never leaving his. We sat down when we reached the end and I removed my shoes and socks just as he had before I got here.

"I don't understand." He whispered, his eyes still red and puffy from crying on this dock.

"You can't tell anyone, you know." I stated, wanting to get it over with, his head flipped around and he stared at me in shock.

"You have got to be kidding!" He shouted, his eyes angry and I flinched away from him. When he noticed he calmed down rapidly and realization dawned upon his face.

"That's why you're distant… Why you freaked out in the forest… Why you don't talk to anyone…" He whispered more to himself than me, "Who?" He questioned.

"That's not important." I spoke quietly, and he laughed humorlessly.

"Not important?" He yelled and I flinched away again, he calmed down once more and squeezed my hand, "Sorry."

I shook my head, "You can't know if you're going to tell…" He sighed and ran his hand over his face.

"Darlin'," He let his accent slip, "I aint promisin' nothin', specialy if it's for you own safety… You deserve so much better love." He whispered his empty hand caressing my cheek.

"Please… I can't tell you…" I whispered, closing my eyes.

"Bellerina, what exactly did you expect to happen; me see that, not tell, let you be… you know… and live happily ever after?" He whispered, I could feel his minty huffs of breath tickling my nose.

"Well…" I opened my eyes to see how close he was to me, "Yeah… I guess- I guess I just figured you wouldn't care…" I whispered, all my doubts flooding my brain again. To say he looked shocked would be an understatement.

"You… You though I couldn't care?" He was searching my face for something; probably anything at this point.

"It's my fault… all of it… Laurent… Renee… Ri-"

"Bellerina!" He cut me off; nearly petrified, "No, no, no, none of this is your fault!" He was shaking his head rapidly.

"Jazz… If you tell… He'll go after Vicky, he'll hurt her, because of me…" I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes.

"I-Bell- I just… I don't want to see you hurt…" He closed his eyes and I pulled my arms around him.

"If you tell; the second he hears someone found out; I'll be gone faster than you can count, you'll never see me again, and it will just make James hurt me more." I tried to plead and I could tell by the look in his eyes I was winning. I knew I had to push him over the edge to get my point across though, "That's if I even make it that long after he realizes it was my fault…" I whispered.

"Okay, but if this-this thing- gets worse… Bellerina, god, if I ever see him…" His eyes welled up with tears just as mine had and his hands tightened around mine.

"No worries Cowboy." I chuckled, "Now come on, no more Debbie downer; let's have some fun!" I finally felt true happiness, even if it was just a little bit. I jumped up, pulling him with me.

"What kind of fun?" He asked, I could tell he was trying to forget what just happened though. I held up one finger, telling him to give me a sec as I walked over to my shes and took out water-proof concealer to cover my cheek. Once that was done I hurried back over to my Cowboy.

"Hm, fun… What is there to do in this dusty old town?" I questioned, mostly to myself.

"We could watch a movie." He suggested but I wrinkled my nose.

"Oh!" I shouted, "I have an ideaaaahh!" I said, drawing out my words. Quickly I yanked off my jacket and ripped up jeans, leaving me in leggings and a thermal, not too much clothing but enough to cover my bruises. When I looked at him he was staring at me as if I was going crazy, but I just laughed.

"You coming in or not?" I shouted as I dove straight off the dock, when I submerged I looked to see a very surprise and awe-struck Jasper.

"Come on!" I shouted drawing out my words again, "Don't be a wimp!" His eyes narrowed at my statement and he yanked off his shirt, giving me an amazing look of his perfect abs. I nearly melted… Melted? God I need a hobby… Now he was left in nothing but basketball shorts as he cannon balled in after me making me yelp and try to swim away.

"Oh no you don't!" He laughed as he swam towards me and wrapped his arms firmly around my torso, both of us laughing like crazy.

"Hey!" I shouted, having the most fun I'd had for quite some time.

"Now who's the wimp?" He chuckled, giving me a light squeeze. I put on my best thinking face as he kept us above the water, one of my arms lazily slung over his shoulder, and tapped my finger against my chin.

I giggled, "You." Poking the tip of his nose before quickly twisting out of his grasp and swimming to shallow water, him fast to follow. Once we got there he pulled me into his arms again and this time lifted me up and nuzzled my neck making me laugh like crazy.

"Stop! It tickles- it tickles!" I shouted, lightly pushing against his shoulders. He pulled back and laughed loudly, setting me down.

"Sorry Bellerina!" He laughed as I narrowed my eyes at him. My heart sped up at the sound of his throaty and course laugh and I started smiling.

"Sure, sure." I chuckled, rolling my eyes at him.

"So… Any reason you called me a wimp just to get me wet?" He asked, crossing his arms over his bare chest; every muscle rippling. I couldn't help it when my eyes glued to his abs.

"Like what you see?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows at me. My face grew hot and a blush rose up to my cheeks, I immediately lowered my head. He gave a small laugh and took ahold of my chin, lifting my head up to meet his eyes. I could have sworn I saw his lips move but I couldn't hear anything.

"Huh?" I questioned and his eyes widened a bit before he tried to act nonchalant. I narrowed by eyes a bit and he sighed.

"I said beautiful…" He whispered, he lowered his head and slowly pressed his lips to my cheek. My face became warmer and my blush darker.

"Oh." I managed to squeak out as his lips left my cheek. It tingled and slowly I lifted my hand to touch the spot. I had an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach… Did I like Jasper in anyway? And if so could I dare to be selfish enough to act on my own emotions even if he was acting on his? He took advantage of the situation when he realized I was lost in thought and tossed me over his shoulder, running back or the water.

I shrieked and yelled for him to put me down but he just ignored me yelling, "Hold your breath darlin'!" I quickly did as he said as we flew below the water. He let me go and we both swan back up to the top, him laughing when he finally had enough air again. I swatted his arm, glaring at him, yet it only made him laugh harder.

"You look like an angry kittin' love." He said, letting his accent slip once again.

"Hey!" I shouted, giggling.

"Maybe we should get going?" He suggested, only then did I notice how dark it was getting, panic slowly rising yet I pushed it back down when I remembered James wouldn't be home.

"On one condition," I replied and he raised an eyebrow, "You stop hiding your accent!" I exclaimed, smirking.

"Hmm… Fine, ya' got ya' self a deal, darlin'." He smirked right back, making my heart rate go through the atmosphere.

"Now my lady, may I have the honor of walkin' ya' home?" He asked, holding out his elbow for me and I took it eagerly, "Will he be there?" He whispered.

"No… He is gone for the week." I said back, smiling and he smiled back just as brightly and we jumped out of the water, gathered out belongings and headed back home in our soaking wet clothing.

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><p>Ta-Da! I wrote quite a lot actually (: yay… So! Please tell me how it was, If I get lots of review I'll keep writing long ones like this but if not we'll go back to short ones cause I don't wanna waste a bunch of time on something no one cares for, thanks, love you guys. R&amp;R.<p>

Scritto con amore ,  
>-Isabel P.<p> 


	10. Some Promises Are Made To Be Broken

A/N : This chapter is gonna go back to the dock before Bella ran in Jasper's POV .

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><p>This is the only part of the song that went with my story but I couldn't find very good ones this time.<p>

_She Put On Dark Glasses And Long Sleeved Blouses  
>And Make-Up To Cover A Bruise<em>

_Goodbye Earl by The Dixie Chicks_

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><p><em>Slowly one tear glided down from one of her doe eyes, and I took my hand off her chin and wiped it away, along with some of the makeup that covered her face...<em>

J Pov

Slowly I tore my eyes from hers and glanced at were the tear had just been. I wasn't what to think of what I saw, there was a blotchy purple colored bruise on her cheek, I could make out the print of a finger as I stared, my body rigid. I could hear her voice in the distance but I wasn't sure what she was saying, or if it was even her at all. I saw her hand come up and lightly touch he bruise. My eyes found hers again but she was just looking off into the distance; seeing nothing.

"B-Bella?" I stuttered, and then she was gone… I yelled out her name and tried to run after her but I couldn't move, I was to shocked to do anything… I could feel my knees giving out and I fell to the ground. I truly was an idiot, wasn't I? Every time she flinched away… why she was so distant… Tears gathered in my eyes. I always cursed the world and the Lord's name for taking away my mother, I never truly thought of others who never even had a mother half as caring as mine was, and I had Esme now. But Bella… She never had that…

_"What is your mother like?" I asked and he smile flattered.  
>"Shes dead." She said grimly.<br>"Do you miss her?" I asked, She seemed to think hard about it.  
>"You can't miss what you never had."<em>

Slowly I stood, trying to blink away any tears. I knew I had to help her but would she let me? If she told me to leave her, would I be able to? How long had she been… hurt? Would she even want me to help her, I heard stories of things like this and the victom usualy found it to be their own fault, and just keep it hidden. What would I do if she told me not to tell? I knew I would have to. How can someone so fragile and good natured be so easily taken advatange of like that? I sighed and more tears gathered in my eyes as I took a seat at the end of the dock. How did a girl I barely know have such an effect over me? It pissed me off to no end, but it made me happy all the same. I could feel a pull towards her but I never understood it…

I slowly made my way back to dock, removing my shoes and socks. The water completely covering my feet, I sighed, my head dropping into my hands. I could feel tears gather in my eyes. How had I become like this? I was never the crying type, I found it weak and stupid. I was always the strong one, but one brown haired, brown eyed, pale girl walks into my life and I become a pussy. Gotta love how life can fuck you over so much. I shook my head and let my feet sway, my mind empty. I wasn't sure how long I just there but after what seemed like hours I could hear an odd padding coming towards me.

I slowly lifted my head to look behind me, I wasn't sure what to think… I was shocked… cocnfused… conserned and any protectiveness I had ever felt for her multiplied by one thousand. I flew off the dock and ran towards my Bellerina. My arms flew around her and as I lifted her up her arms encircled my neck. There was no one but me and her in that moment, reticulantly I set her down and my eyes traveled to her cheek. I could fully make out the handprint on her cheek.

"Bella…" I let my fingers skim her cheek and let my hand coat over the bruise. Her hand covered mine.

"I think we should talk…" I stared into her eyes then intwined my fingers with hers, going to the end of the dock once more. She sat, removing her socks and shoes.

"I don't understand." I whispered after we got settled.

"You can't tell anyone, you know." She stated in a matter-of-factly kind of way/

"You have got to be kidding!" I shouted, I knew I probably looked pissed. When I saw her flinch away I I calmed down imediently.

"That's why you're distant… Why you freaked out in the forest… Why you don't talk to anyone…" I whispered more to myself than her, "Who?" I questioned, my voice hoarse.

"That's not important." She said quietly, and I laughed humorlessly.

"Not important?" I shouted and she flinched away again, I had to force myself to calm down as I squeezed her hand, "Sorry."

She shook her head, "You can't know if you're going to tell…" I sighed, running my hand over my face.

"Darlin'," I let my accent slip, "I aint promisin' nothin', specialy if it's for you own safety… You deserve so much better love." I whispered, running my fingers over her cheek.

"Please… I can't tell you…" She whispered, closing her eyes.

"Bellerina, what exactly did you expect to happen; me see that, not tell, let you be… you know… and live happily ever after?" I whispered, my breathe coming out in pants and huffs.

"Well…" She opened her eyes, "Yeah… I guess- I guess I just figured you wouldn't care…" She whispered. My brain wasn't processing anything fast enough at that point, I was at a loss for words, no scratch that- I could think of a thousand, but they would most likely give her a stoke.

"You… You though I couldn't care?" I was staring intentaly at her face, I needed something- anything that would tell me all of this was just some sick joke!

"It's my fault… all of it… Laurent… Renee… Ri-"

"Bellerina!" I cut her off- my god, _I_ was going to be the one having a damn stroke at this point, "No, no, no, none of this is your fault!" I started shaking my head so fast I thought it was going to fall off.

"Jazz… If you tell… He'll go after Vicky, he'll hurt her, because of me…" She whispered, I could see the tears in her eyes.

"I-Bell- I just… I don't want to see you hurt…" I closed my eyes, I didn't want to see her cry, I could feel her arms circled around me- wasn't I supposed to comforting her?

"If you tell; the second he hears someone found out; I'll be gone faster than you can count, you'll never see me again, and it will just make James hurt me more." I couldn't let her be hurt, but... That's why I had to tell, right? "That's if I even make it that long after he realizes it was my fault…"

"Okay, but if this-this thing- gets worse… Bellerina, god, if I ever see him…" I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I squeezed her hands.

"No worries Cowboy." She chuckled, "Now come on, no more Debbie downer; let's have some fun!" There was something in her eyes as she jumped up; pulling me with her, she looked relieved and happy.

"What kind of fun?" I asked, trying to forget what just happened. She held up a finer to me and went over to her bag and pulled out a small tube, she put the skin colored makeup on her cheek, hiding her bruise from me. Once that was done she hurried back over to me.

"Hm, fun… What is there to do in this dusty old town?" She questioned, mostly to herself.

"We could watch a movie." I suggested, yet she wrinkled her nose at me.

"Oh!" She shouted, "I have an ideaaaahh!" She yanked off her jacket and ripped up jeans, leaving her in leggings and a thermal. I just stared at her- was she loosing her mind? Why in the wor- and now shes laughing, yup, shes crazy.

"You coming in or not?" She shouted and dove straight off the dock, I couldn't move, I was in shock, and when she came back up- god she was beautiful... Okay- change of thoughts now would bee good, god, when did I turn so mushy?

"Come on!" She shouted drawing out her words again, "Don't be a wimp!" I narrowed my eyes at her, practacly ripping off my shirt. Now I was left in nothing but basketball shorts, her eyes stuck on my abs, I smirked and cannon balled into the water before she had time to move away, she squeled, trying to move before I hit the water.

"Oh no you don't!" I laughed swimming towards her and wrapping my arms firmly around her torso, both of us laughing like crazy.

"Hey!"

"Now who's the wimp?" I chuckled, giving her a light squeeze. She put on a fake thinking face as I kept us afloat, one of her arms lazily slung over my shoulder. She tapped her finger against her chin.

She giggled, "You." Poking the tip of my nose before quickly twisting out of my grasp and swimming to shallow water, without a moment of hesitation I swam after her. Once we got to the shore I pulled her into my arms again and this time lifted her up and nuzzled her neck making her laugh like crazy.

"Stop! It tickles- it tickles!" She shouted, lightly pushing against my shoulders. I pulled back and laughed loudly, setting her down.

"Sorry Bellerina!" I laughed as she narrowed my eyes at me. She had a goofy smile as I started laughing.

"Sure, sure." She chuckled, rolling her eyes at me.

"So… Any reason you called me a wimp just to get me wet?" I asked, crossing my arms. I smirked as I saw her eyes rake over my bare chest.

"Like what you see?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrows at her. Her cheeks took that beautiful crisom color again as she ducked her head away. I chuckled and took ahold of her chin, lifting her head up to meet my eyes.

"_Beautiful…"_

"Huh?" She asked making my eyes widen a bit before tring to act nonchalant. She narrowed her eyes a bit and I sighed.

"I said beautiful…" I whispered, lowering my head and slowly pressed my lips to her cheek. Her face became warmer as she blushed darker.

"Oh." I heard her squeak out as my lips left her cheek. Slowly her hand reached up and touched her cheek. My lips were warm against her soft skin, I missed the feeling… When I noticed she was lost in thought I grabbed her, tossed her over my shoulder, and darted back to the water.

She kept squeling and trying to get me to set her down but I just yelled, "Hold your breath darlin'!" Then dove straight into the water. I let her go as we both swam back up, she swatted at my arm as I laughed but it only made me laugh harder.

"You look like an angry kittin' love."

"Hey!" She yelled, glaring playful at me.

"Maybe we should get going?" I told her as I looked around at our dark surroundings.

"On one condition." She told me and I raised my eye brow at her, "You stop hiding your accent!" She exclaimed, smirking.

"Hmm… Fine, ya' got ya' self a deal, darlin'." I smirked right back.

"Now my lady, may I have the honor of walkin' ya' home?" I asked, holding out my elbow for her as she took it eagerly, "Will he be there?" I whispered.

"No… He is gone for the week." She said back, smiling and I smiled back just as brightly as we jumped out of the water, gathered out belongings and headed back to her house in our soaking wet clothing. I wasn't sure whether to be happy or disappointed at the fact that he wasn't home, but I couldn't help feel joy that she would be perfectly safe, atleast until he came back… I knew I had to get her out of there soon though, no matter what I promise, she can hate me all she wants as long as she's safe, plus… Aren't promises made to be broken?

* * *

><p>So you guys probably all hate me right about now, if you're even still following my story. I know this chapter is a bit of a rip off but atleast it's something. I never planned on stopping but stuff happens. I'm not sure if my updates will be constant, but I'll update every time I can. My chapters will most likely get shorter but I will probably update a couple times a week, so if you like my longer chapters you might want to wait till the end of the week and read them all together. At the beginning of each chapter I'll write if it's long or not. I'm not sure if they'll be long or short yet, but we'll see. Please R&amp;R, it makes me want to write even more.<p>

Scritto con amore,

-Isabel P.


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